oh and i have come to the conclusion

that white boys are either a) weird or b) cocky.

idk...everyone i know fits in one of these 2 categories...

i need to stop

overreacting.

HUME

HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME

summer goals

-have money.dont go broke.
-disneyland!!
-bonfiresss/beach!
-doubledatesss
-hang out with megan rajajaj
-talk with megan rajajaj regularly
-visit colleges -__-
-practice instruments
-bond with friends (:
-shop shop shop shop
-don't get sick
-keep parents happy
-dont get fat
-moooooooovies!
-dont procrastinate on summer hw



mm wtf i dont remember anything TBD

dear you,

i dont understand you.

you should be like, my best friend.
yet, i fear you.
i dont trust you.


you ridicule me and embarass me in front of my friends.
youre inconsiderate and disrespectful.

im older than you.
yet, i do not even have the courage to even talk to you.
if i talk to you, you just yell at me and close/lock your door,
running away from the problem.

what am i supposed to do?
i'm worried about you.
i dont understand
how can i talk to you without you getting so angry


i say one thing and you claim that i'm bossy
i ask one question and you claim that i'm nosy

liek honestly. wtf.
were supposed to trust each other...

be best friends.

honestly, as much as i love you,
i can't wait until i go to college and leave this fear around.

if only you listened and just took advice.

honestly, you'll deny this

but im older than you,
im smarter than you
and i may not be able to write as well as you
run as fast as you
or attract boys as well as you


but i think that i know just a little more than you do on life..

at least more than your friends and peers...
why cant you give me the chance?


im sorry for all the times i pissed you off,
annoyed you,
been in your way,


but hey im worried about you.

and sadly, i cant even tell this to your face
because you'll just spit at my advice
and call it stupid and lame.


im tired of being embarrassed day by day
and being pushed over by you.

and im tired of you pushing everyone i love away.

please just listen
be understanding
be respectful

and as cliche as it sounds
i want this because i love you
and care about you

and i know that the direction you're headed
isn't a positive path...


you know,
theres so many things i can tell you.
negative things.
but you know what?
i love you.
and i know you're already broken.
i want you to be happy again.


don't just look to your friends for the answers.
cuz trust me, i can see right through them
they're all fake, desperate jerks


i love you....

=/

=/ dang. i thought now that the school year was over, i would get a break, but apparently not...

today i had an interview with a potential piano teacher i might have...eh its for sure that ill have her. shes strict and she requires 4 hours of practice a day...

i cant do that. i cant even practice 20 minutes a day.

haha, its so crazy how i got by basically my entire life doing the minimum and still getting the highest scores on cm and competitions in general. now imma have to step it up, sadly.




but then, she was talking to my parents about colleges for music and stuff, and strongly suggested to them that i go to a calstate, and was strongly against private colleges. F. my parents are convinced.

i'm discouraged from telling you anything....

empty.

ahhh. its so fun to read all of my old fortunes this year from the fortune cookies i ate :D

-you will take a chance in the near future, and win
-to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world
-you are kind and friendly
-you are an exciting and inspiring person
-you lead a useful life no matter what riches are coming to you
-our first and last love is...self-love
-you will have a party

ahha all of them are like whatever except for the self love one....wtheck?
ahaha..ill never love myself. i hate myself.

PEOPLE

who take millions of picturesss of themselves....
drive me insane.

bored bored boreddd

today, i realized something i always do.
whenever people lie to my face, i just accept it. i keep talking and act as if i think they're telling the truth. ahhaha
i want to see how far their lies will go.
if you lie to me, just don't. i'm not stupid, i know you're lying. honestys the best policy :]

What do you feel weird without?PHONEE
Whose bed did you sleep in last besides your own?mm :]
Do you like funny people or serious people?funny
Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?when im with my sister, just to make her think im a freak ahahha
Have you kissed more than ten people in the last year?nahh
Have you ever cried from being so mad?Yeah
Are you an argumentative person?yes!
Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?haha of course.i always forgive.
How do you feel about the person who texted you last?johnny..
Have you ever been around someone who was high?ugh
Three days from now will you be in a relationship?yess
Name 3 drinks you drink regularly?water water water
Will this weekend be a good one?noo summer come now
What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?nothing
Will tomorrow be better than today?probably
Could you live without your cell phone?nooo
Can you get over people easily?noooo
Are you open about your feelings, or closed off?WAY closed off
Do you have any summer plans yet?no :[
If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back?ahah
Kissed someone in the past twenty-four hours?no
Are you good at hiding your feelings?yesss im a professional!
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?hah all the time
How many people have you honestly loved in the past 8 months?one
What's something you really want right now, be honest?a job! or just money..hahaha
Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them?ehh yeah
Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?no
Is your heart broken right now?no
Who was the first person you talked to today?my mom
Are you a patient person?yup
Do you find piercings attractive?ONLY SOMETIMES. not facial piercingss, and VERY few guys can pull it off.
Do you find it hard to trust others?Yessss
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?HAHA memories.
Does it matter if your bf/gf smokes?yessssss
Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant?sisterr
What happened at 3:30 AM?nothing
Last time you saw your dad?like at 6:46 PM
What would you do if someone ran at you with a knife? scream and run away ahhaha
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?school
Who will be your next kiss?idk
Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?mm maybe
Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?hah, i want to live with all of them! except my sister i have enough of that
Are you jealous of your siblings?noooooo....
If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?idc whatever