boredddddddddddddddd

How can I win your heart?
ahha i dont think its that hard...
Who knows a big secret about you?
someone i regret telling..
Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2010?
once 2010 beginss and i turn 18, yes !!
Can money buy happiness?
temporarily
Are you looking forward to anything?
being 18 and graduating
How late did you stay up last night?
12
Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
volunteering, running errands, bday presents, practice
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
noo
What do you introduce yourself as?
kelley
Do you live at home with your parents?
yes
Do you consider yourself a bitch?
im so fake :[
Do you get drunk every weekend?
no way
What are you wearing, in detail?
shorts and a shirt :]
Honestly, what's on your mind?
i want to go to disneyland!!
Is it hard for you to get over someone?
yesssssssss
What was the best thing that happened today?
hmm idk, probably just laughing and having fun with nicole and alexis during the JV game ahahaha
Who was the first person to break your heart?
nobody
Has anyone disappointed/upset you recently?
eh, not really.
Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
no
Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
eh nobody
Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
no
Have you ever thought about having plastic surgery?
no
Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't have them?
ahahah yes!
When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
today
Is there such thing as a perfect relationship?
no
Do you straighten your hair everyday?
no
When was the last time you drank an alcoholic beverage?
never
Who did you talk to on the phone last?
daddyy
Whos the last person you texted?
AHHA, michael dang
Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
yess, the proposal, transformers 2 and harry potter!
Are you easily scared at horror films?
YES, even non horror films lol
Last time you cried?
longg time ago
If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept?
no
What about heroin?
no
Has a boy/girl ever called you Babe or baby?
ugh, don't mention it.
Who was the last person you had an argument with?
kailynne
Did you go out or stay in last night?
hm stay in?
Do you feel like people treat you unfairly?
not really, but people underestimate me
What do you want more than anything right now?
i want to be 18. and to have money.
Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
yessss!
Whos the last person you slept in a bed with?
hmm, i have no idea....ahahha, probably megan and nicole?
Be honest, who are you texting?
nobody
Do you ever use words like stoked, souped or sick?
no
What do you think your number 1 is doing right now?
trying to not be a loner, lol
Does it take a lot to make you cry?
in public, yess. at home, no.
Do you think two people can last forever?
yeah
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
i think so
Did you have an exciting last weekend?
pretty funn :D
Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
duhhhhhhhhhhhh
Has anyone told you they don't wanna ever lose you?
ahahah BS
Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked?
eh not really
Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
no
When someone says "we need to talk", what runs through your mind?
depends who it is
What color are your eyes?
brown
How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
idk...2?
Were you happy when you woke up this morning?
yess!
Which friend of yours have you been friends with longest?
probably the Zugs, my second home!
Which was better: Twilight the movie or book?
LOL, im sure the book was better, even though i haven't read it
If you took a drug test right now would you pass or fail?
pass
Do you like a boy/girl right now?
yes
Whats the closest thing to you that's liquid?
idk water?
Is anything bothering you?
kind of
Are you excited for next year?
in exactly one year, yess
What are you looking forward to the most in the next week?
moviess, BEACH PARTY, alvinas partyy, harry potter, shopping and yeahh :D
Anything interesting happen last night?
eh
Are you wearing pants? If so, where did you get them from?
oxfords shorts :D
Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you really angry?
haha YES
Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis?
never in my life
What made you decide to wear the outfit you wore today?
gaaame
Have you ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
i have not
Do you enjoy wearing dresses?
eh whatever
Are you different from how you were a year ago?
in some ways, yes
Do you have any summer plans yet?
yeah pretty much, but we should still do something!
What was the last thing you drank?
water
Are you currently wearing a shirt with long or short sleeves?
short
Do you have any bruises?
yes stupid games!
Are there any stressful situations in your life?
yes, more than anyone knows about
If you could move somewhere else, would you?
i'd move out, but not anywhere far away
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
no
What color did you last paint your nails?
white
What is your love life like?
mmmmmm'
Where's the last place you went?
jack in the box
Are you tan?
i was, but probably not anymore.
but saturdayy :D:D:D:D
Do you were alot of make up?
no
Are you currently frustrated with someone?
sister
Do you miss your past?
my innocence!
What did you do today?
library, clean, violin lesson, game, jack in the box
Do you delete people off of MySpace?
no, but people delete me! jerks hahaha
Have you ever wanted to never give up on someone?
of course
Are you wearing any makeup right now?
no
What time did you wake up today?
830
Was is by nature or did someone/something wake you up?
nature -__-

oh and i have come to the conclusion

that white boys are either a) weird or b) cocky.

idk...everyone i know fits in one of these 2 categories...

i need to stop

overreacting.

HUME

HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME HUME

summer goals

-have money.dont go broke.
-disneyland!!
-bonfiresss/beach!
-doubledatesss
-hang out with megan rajajaj
-talk with megan rajajaj regularly
-visit colleges -__-
-practice instruments
-bond with friends (:
-shop shop shop shop
-don't get sick
-keep parents happy
-dont get fat
-moooooooovies!
-dont procrastinate on summer hw



mm wtf i dont remember anything TBD

dear you,

i dont understand you.

you should be like, my best friend.
yet, i fear you.
i dont trust you.


you ridicule me and embarass me in front of my friends.
youre inconsiderate and disrespectful.

im older than you.
yet, i do not even have the courage to even talk to you.
if i talk to you, you just yell at me and close/lock your door,
running away from the problem.

what am i supposed to do?
i'm worried about you.
i dont understand
how can i talk to you without you getting so angry


i say one thing and you claim that i'm bossy
i ask one question and you claim that i'm nosy

liek honestly. wtf.
were supposed to trust each other...

be best friends.

honestly, as much as i love you,
i can't wait until i go to college and leave this fear around.

if only you listened and just took advice.

honestly, you'll deny this

but im older than you,
im smarter than you
and i may not be able to write as well as you
run as fast as you
or attract boys as well as you


but i think that i know just a little more than you do on life..

at least more than your friends and peers...
why cant you give me the chance?


im sorry for all the times i pissed you off,
annoyed you,
been in your way,


but hey im worried about you.

and sadly, i cant even tell this to your face
because you'll just spit at my advice
and call it stupid and lame.


im tired of being embarrassed day by day
and being pushed over by you.

and im tired of you pushing everyone i love away.

please just listen
be understanding
be respectful

and as cliche as it sounds
i want this because i love you
and care about you

and i know that the direction you're headed
isn't a positive path...


you know,
theres so many things i can tell you.
negative things.
but you know what?
i love you.
and i know you're already broken.
i want you to be happy again.


don't just look to your friends for the answers.
cuz trust me, i can see right through them
they're all fake, desperate jerks


i love you....

=/

=/ dang. i thought now that the school year was over, i would get a break, but apparently not...

today i had an interview with a potential piano teacher i might have...eh its for sure that ill have her. shes strict and she requires 4 hours of practice a day...

i cant do that. i cant even practice 20 minutes a day.

haha, its so crazy how i got by basically my entire life doing the minimum and still getting the highest scores on cm and competitions in general. now imma have to step it up, sadly.




but then, she was talking to my parents about colleges for music and stuff, and strongly suggested to them that i go to a calstate, and was strongly against private colleges. F. my parents are convinced.

i'm discouraged from telling you anything....

empty.

ahhh. its so fun to read all of my old fortunes this year from the fortune cookies i ate :D

-you will take a chance in the near future, and win
-to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world
-you are kind and friendly
-you are an exciting and inspiring person
-you lead a useful life no matter what riches are coming to you
-our first and last love is...self-love
-you will have a party

ahha all of them are like whatever except for the self love one....wtheck?
ahaha..ill never love myself. i hate myself.

PEOPLE

who take millions of picturesss of themselves....
drive me insane.

bored bored boreddd

today, i realized something i always do.
whenever people lie to my face, i just accept it. i keep talking and act as if i think they're telling the truth. ahhaha
i want to see how far their lies will go.
if you lie to me, just don't. i'm not stupid, i know you're lying. honestys the best policy :]

What do you feel weird without?PHONEE
Whose bed did you sleep in last besides your own?mm :]
Do you like funny people or serious people?funny
Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?when im with my sister, just to make her think im a freak ahahha
Have you kissed more than ten people in the last year?nahh
Have you ever cried from being so mad?Yeah
Are you an argumentative person?yes!
Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?haha of course.i always forgive.
How do you feel about the person who texted you last?johnny..
Have you ever been around someone who was high?ugh
Three days from now will you be in a relationship?yess
Name 3 drinks you drink regularly?water water water
Will this weekend be a good one?noo summer come now
What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?nothing
Will tomorrow be better than today?probably
Could you live without your cell phone?nooo
Can you get over people easily?noooo
Are you open about your feelings, or closed off?WAY closed off
Do you have any summer plans yet?no :[
If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back?ahah
Kissed someone in the past twenty-four hours?no
Are you good at hiding your feelings?yesss im a professional!
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?hah all the time
How many people have you honestly loved in the past 8 months?one
What's something you really want right now, be honest?a job! or just money..hahaha
Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them?ehh yeah
Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?no
Is your heart broken right now?no
Who was the first person you talked to today?my mom
Are you a patient person?yup
Do you find piercings attractive?ONLY SOMETIMES. not facial piercingss, and VERY few guys can pull it off.
Do you find it hard to trust others?Yessss
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?HAHA memories.
Does it matter if your bf/gf smokes?yessssss
Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant?sisterr
What happened at 3:30 AM?nothing
Last time you saw your dad?like at 6:46 PM
What would you do if someone ran at you with a knife? scream and run away ahhaha
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?school
Who will be your next kiss?idk
Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?mm maybe
Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?hah, i want to live with all of them! except my sister i have enough of that
Are you jealous of your siblings?noooooo....
If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?idc whatever

ASLFJALF

hah prom was fun. but i look fat in the pictures :[ AHH

i haven't been in a sport for like 3 weeks, and i feel like it already shows :[ ahahha

but whatever i don't care that much.



i need to focus on being a better christian. lately it's been ffffffffreaking hard though... =/



gah. im effedd for summer. i want to work volunteer and have fun at the same time. butt i also have to do summer bball and theres hume :( idk what to doooooooo

i've

never cared so much about grades. =/

for the first time ever this year im going to sleep at 2!
i drank 2 cups of coffee!
im going to study like crazy :D
i have lots of energy!

screwed for lifeeeeeeeee

today was a very stressful day. i come home and theres a message on the machine saying that i have 7 books overdue from haskett............and i havent checked out any books there for like a year. so i go there and i ask them about it and apparently somebody checked out 7 books under my namee thereee and hasn't returned them, so the fees like 30 dollars :[ and i lost my library card like 2 years ago and i never got a new one, so theres like no proof that i didnt check the books out, so ill probably have to pay the fee :[ GAH ITS NOT FAIRR

butt i believe in karma, so whoever screwed me over is going to end up screwing themselves.

track is finally over! :D

but it kind of sucks in a way because now i'll hardly be able to to talk to megan... :[
since i have no classes with her its really hard for me to update her without telling anybody elsee.
i LOVEE megan because i feel like she is the one of the only girls i can completely confide in. i know that she won't judge me.


today is going to be a terrible day :[ i can't watch the lakers game because my tv brokee GAHH.

sosososososo busy im never at home anymore :(

lately someone has been making me really mad..
one of my closest friends.
i can't seem to get over it.
im over it for one second and the next second i just feel like saying something really mean.
i know i can just shut her up..i can say 234234 things that can embarass her and make her ashamed.
i dont know why i dont..but im glad i dont.
i know if i say something to her ill just end up feeling sorry for it later.

im proud of my self control!

Lately, whenever I feel like eating something in my house, it always seems like we just ran out of it. Every time I crave bagels, we never have it. But when we do have bagels, I am never in the mood for them, so they end up getting moldy and my mom gets mad at me and then she refuses to buy bagels for the next couple of weeks. It is like a cycle. Yesterday, I wanted to make banana bread since we did not have that in a long time. But as I started mixing the batter, however, I went to get the baking soda from the pantry and it turns out that we ran out! I was so frustrated that we did not have any AND I already started baking, so my mom went to get the baking soda so i can finish making the banana bread. When she comes back with the baking soda, she also brings back some chocolate milk mixes. My dad said it was really good, so I decided to try some. However, right when I open the refrigerator I find that my dad and sister finished all of our remaining milk. Since Costco is about 15 minutes away from my house, we will not go there until the weekend. So, now I will have to wait 6 days until I can get milk. But by then, I will either have a new craving, or i will find something else we don’t have that my family needs to buy.
It may seem like I’m lazy, since I could get these things myself if I really want to. Once I get home from school and track practice, I have no motivation to do anything except eat and sleep. Very rarely am I in the mood to actually doing something, and when I am in the mood for baking, I still only want to eat, sleep, and bake. In a way, I think I have a reason to be lazy when I come home since I come home straight from sports. But in another way, I should not use my extra curricular activities as an excuse to not do anything. I am so lazy that when I need to talk to my sister and I am in my room, I instant message her when she is literally across the hall. I do this because I am too lazy to call her over and ask her a question. Sometimes, I even do this just to ask her if she can turn the kitchen light off. Most of the time, I am so lazy and tired when I wake up that I just put on whatever I can reach. I have over twenty pairs of shoes, but I only wear the same pair everyday because I am too lazy to take the other shoes out and wear them and put them back in the box at the end of the day. I hate peeling oranges and tangerines so much, that when my mom gives me one in my lunch for school, I usually do not even eat it if it is not already peeled. Overall, I think I am just too lazy. I need to work on being more motivated and hard working. Even if I do not have the energy to do something, I am going to try to do it as hard as I can in order to no longer be lazy.

:]

i've sorted my priorities, i now know what i want in life.

sorry it took me this long.

the uninvited was prettyy okay. i was SUPER scared at first, but the end made it not scary :] it was kind of funny..haha



i wish that people didn't treat me like i'm stupid. because i'm not. i hate being underestimated, and i also wish that people didn't treat me like i don't try in school. maybe it seems that way, but i'm just optimistic. telling me to try harder in school is kind of an insult to me, because in some ways, i think i even try too hard in school..i don't find that success depends on how well you succeed in school..

sadfj;

AAHHA i have no idea why i started this..but it seems like fun anyway :]

today has been kindaa different since we had no practice at six so i could sleep in until 8 for once :] ahah. no homework this weekend for the first time EVERR. so this weekend is going to be superr fun, especially tmrw :D